Hello,
Yesterday I suggested you reflect on what/who influences you and asked you to select your top five from the following list.
Choose your top 5:
1. Loved ones- family members – close
2. Loved ones – family members – distant (family heroes, deceased, etc)
3. Readings – books, articles, news, Facebook/online links and leads
4. Poetry, biographies, plays, music
5. Videos, movies, tv
6. Your own beliefs of either limit/lack or abundance
7. Education – formal or self taught
8. Your fears and anxieties
9. Fears and anxieties of others
10. Memories – the past
11. Loved ones – friends
12. Loved ones – romantic attachments
13. Role models, mentors, coaches
14. Your own behaviors and recent actions
15. Your spiritual beliefs, heroes and guides, scripture
I thought I’d share with you my own top five and a few tweaks I would make to ensure I am being influenced by what I choose to be influenced by.
My top 5:
The last shall be first — #15. My role model in life is Jesus. The life he lived was all about love, giving, healing and helping. That’s how I try to live. Though even my efforts fall short and outcomes too, it still is my ideal and what I strive for…to be like Jesus.
Then #2, my Mom who has passed on influences me daily. I have become so much more like her since she passed on – 6 years ago this season. I read her Bible and meditate on what she has highlighted. It’s with joy I allow her to impact me daily. She was love in action – as the title of her eulogy indicated. She loved God and wanted to serve and help every day as she picked up strangers who looked like they were struggling, paid for people’s groceries, prayed with patients at St. Mary’s Hospital where she worked after her long and hard shifts in the Central Supplies department. She lived to serve like Jesus did so it makes perfect sense that she is my role model. That’s how I want to be.
She taught us all to pray and by her example taught us how to live.
#12 – my “romantic” attachment…One person with major influence on me is my husband, Chris. That’s with my permission and blessings. He is the epitome of goodness and grace so influence from him is welcomed and encouraged. [romantic is in quotes because marriage is SO much more than romance!]
Moving on…to #1, loved ones influences me, sometimes much more than they should. This is the one I need to work on. When the influence is not positive it’s because I am allowing their behaviors to impact my state of mind in a negative way. That’s all up to me. I have to choose better and exercise more self-discipline. My emotions are mine to control and how people behave has to be separated from how I feel. Now when the influence is positive, it’s all good.
Our loved ones, particularly children, siblings and other family members are there to provide us with opportunities for growth in addition to the opportunities to feel loved and secure.
#6 – Whether you like/want to admit this or not, your own beliefs about what you can accomplish, about who you are and what you can be is influenced most by your own beliefs about yourself. If I think I am abundant in potential and ability, then I am. If I think I’m not, then I’m not. If I think “lack” defines me at my core, then it does.
SO – I have to be sure to have my beliefs, thoughts, emotions and behaviors all lined up on one accord. What we think of ourselves, under the surface of conscious thought and emotion influences us more than we are often willing to accept.
Here’s what I’d like to do, exchange # 1 with # 13.
My mentors – people whose life and legacy speak to how I see myself are Dr. Therman Evans and his wife Bernetta, Marianne Williamson, Susan Taylor, Paul Robeson, Helga Zepp LaRouche, Mahatma Gandhi, Dr. King, Mother Teresa to name just a few.
Having mentors is critical for crafting a life that is worthy of passing on to future generations. Having a picture in your mind of how you would like to live, not just in a fantasy kind of way but with actual images and information about how to get it done is essential. Reading biographies and learning from people who did what you are doing is a sure way to remain on track. It is reassuring to know what they struggled with and how they overcame. Why re-invent the wheel? Doing what others before us have done is not only smart, it’s essential.
But back to our point here — having these mentors influence my thoughts and emotions is what I want more of. It’s one thing to have them tucked away and nice to say you admire such and such person. But unless they are permitted into your heart and soul, to powerfully influence your decisions and your emotions, then they are not being used in the most effective way.
So for 2011, I’d like to replace being influenced in negative ways by the behaviors of loved ones by FIRST mastering control over my own emotions and NOT have them (the loved ones) impact me in negative ways. But also, I’d like my mentors to be allowed to exercise much more influence over my emotions and actions. To this end I will seek them out, read all I can about them and do all I can to be like them.
This is a conscious and deliberate decision which when implemented will bring immeasurable peace and increased joy to my life. I will select 4 – 6 autobiographies to delve into for 2011. And I will keep you posted.
So did you decide on your top 5? And what changes would you make in who and what influences you every day? This is a critical bit of work to do and what better time to do it than right now?
I wish you all that is good and wonderful.
Peace, Light & Love,
♥~
This message is part of the 21-Day Detox Challenge – Spirit, Mind & Body: Day 1. The program includes preparation exercises and specific planning and all previous messages can be found here. Video introduction is here.
This series began on December 8, 2010. By following the directions, you can begin this detox challenge in its entirety whenever you would like.
All program downloads can be found here (chart of challenges, self-evaluation, agreement form and handy checklist of all preparation exercises)