Hello there!
Today we remember our Mom – she passed away 7 years ago. I woke up much earlier than usual this morning and I know it’s connected to her, though I wasn’t restless or anxious in any way when I woke up. The connection is to do with my desire to keep her alive in my heart. She was an early (before the sun) riser and I’ve tried to be for years! This morning it was effortless.
Just a few words about her. She was just the best mother ever! She wasn’t a cookie baking, say the perfect thing at the right time, pearls as she cleans kind of lady but she was perfect. We struggled when I knew everything and had all the answers as most mom/daughter partnerships often do when the youngster is passing through high school and college. I held hostility in my heart towards her several times in my life. She no doubt was disappointed in me many times but it all came together when I grew the sense to know her value.
She was faithful – the most faithful woman I’ve ever known, next to my grandmother, her mother. She was humble, kind and loving…with a wicked sense of humor. She struggled with forgiveness until she allowed God to have His way with her, completely. She continued to grow until she died. She just was the best mother ever! We spoke everyday, most times twice or more. I learned about responsibility, service, hard work, kindness, love and forgiveness from her.
So the question is, how do we keep the closeness and relationship when death intervenes?
Here are five fabulous ways to keep your loved one alive and reduce the pain of loss:
1) Do what they did; be as they were. If your loved one left a legacy of positive, people-serving memories, by all means keep doing what s/he did. Do it with love and a conscious effort to honor them for their good deeds. If s/he was loving and kind, you be that way too and thank them often for their part in your joy. If s/he always supported a particular cause, keep the support going in their name. If s/he had habits that helped others, create those habits in yourself.
2) Talk about them…Tell others as you do what you do and be as you are where it all came from: Tell them who helped you to be as you are today. Tell the stories of how you learned to be this way and the lessons you carry in your heart today. Especially tell the young people in the family or organization all about who came before them. Show them pictures and videos…let them see and experience some of what they missed.
3) Put a scrapbook together. Gather pictures, cards, quotes and other memorabilia for your scrapbook and have a little party in honor of your loved one. Some folks can help with putting the book together or if it is already done, they can all share in the experience of viewing and remembering the person. View your scrapbook as often as you’d like to keep the memories fresh.
4) Publish, release or launch. If your loved one was working on a special project and it was not completed…tie it up and release it in their honor. Celebrate the release and document all that is done and said in the process. This can all be kept for the benefit of future generations.
5) Keep the light on! Whether it be with a candle in the window, a plant or particular tradition…keep something alive and well in their honor: Something that you can see daily, that is alive or dynamic in nature; something that has life in it. It doesn’t have to be 24/7. For instance if you choose to keep a flame going with a candle, you can decide to light that candle on Sunday evenings for a specific length of time. As long as it is a consistent tradition, the goal will be achieved.
As for me, I am choosing to do what my Mom did (as best I can) and be as she was regarding my prayer life, keeping peace and spreading love. As with this article, I talk about her publicly when I can and with family every chance I’m given – or I feel I can take. My scrapbook is a photo album at this point and it’s my goal to have a real scrap book completed by the end of the year. I would love to do a book of her sayings and writings – praying on that one! And as for keeping the light on, I have clippings from a bamboo plant that I got from one of hers; it’s struggling but hanging on! In addition, we have her dog, Snowy…a super frisky Bishon. We take great care of him and I know, based on how much she loved this little dog, if spirits are aware of anything, she KNOWS her special pet is getting the kind of love she showered him with.
So today is not so rough at all because we have kept Maria Hernandez Logan very much alive in our hearts and in our lives. She’s in what we do and ‘how we be.’ 🙂
Try any one or all of these approaches and you’ll find increased peace and joy in the memories of your loved one. You will succeed in keeping them alive.
Wishing you all the best,
♥~