Over the years, people have said to me again and again…and I have said to myself too… “These feelings are in my way.”
Feelings are always getting in the way of getting things done. They seem to have a mind of their own – and actually that statement is more accurate than cliché.
Our feelings do operate from a certain mindset…they do have for all intents and purposes ‘a mind of their own.’
You have to have a strategy for handling these pesky “feelings” that seem to pop in or up at the most inconvenient times.
At one point in my life it seemed like an orchestrated conspiracy! The moment a decision was made to get on a certain path, or get some specific things accomplished at a higher level a contrary emotion would set in and completely stir things up.
Here’s the thing about feelings. They are attached to thoughts which take up actual space in our brains. Our thoughts create patterns of thinking that result in our mindset…how our mind is set regarding a particular issue. Feelings are not simply stand-alone, intangible ‘things’ with no physical connection to our mental states. There is a direct connection to our thought life.
So the challenge is to find out what these pesky, distracting feelings are connected to and begin to work on weakening that connection.
First ► Some questions to ponder:
How would you describe this feeling that pops up?
What thoughts are connected to this feeling?
What is the pattern created by these thoughts and feelings? [Is there a sequence of events that precedes them? Do they pop up at certain times but not at others? How do you usually respond?]
What are the recurring thoughts while these feelings are present?
How will you rather respond the next time distracting feelings pop up?
What stops that reaction from happening?
What can you do differently in order to respond the way you’d prefer to respond?
Next ► Spend a few minutes reflecting on your answers to the preceding questions. Hopefully you wrote your answers – moving them from your mind to paper so you can observe and reflect as objectively as possible.
Then ► Based on your answers create a plan to respond to distracting feelings the next 3 times they pop up in exactly the way you’d prefer to respond.
So for instance [your plan can include some of these tips] instead of going off course and giving in to distracting feelings you will do one or more of the following:
- Take at least 5 deep breaths and become conscious of the intruding thoughts
- Take 3 minutes and devote to writing as much as I can about the feelings I’m having
- Count to 100 slowly as I visualize myself reacting in exactly the way I would like
- Call my accountability partner and speak for 30 seconds
- Read affirmations out loud to jolt me back to reality
- Sit still and relax my entire body for 2-3 minutes – visualizing myself completely at peace
- Create a “parking lot” for these emotions/thoughts so when they pop up, I open the parking lot – book, special place, person, etc… and place the feeling in for later handling
- Say “NO – not now” and keep going
- Become a reporter and observe the feeling and see where it goes, taking notes for later reflection
- Go work out, take a walk or dance
- Play an uplifting piece of music
- Find someone to be kind to – and DO NOT talk about your feeling
- Have an imagination session, seeing yourself – in this moment, not some future time—reacting to the distracting feelings exactly as you would like
Add your own possible reactions and create your own strategy. Then commit to doing it exactly as planned the next 3 times these feelings pop up. This will weaken the connections between old feelings and old thoughts because as you interrupt the pattern by exerting control, you send a message to your brain that there’s a new pattern being formed. If you do this with great enthusiasm the new pattern will form even faster as the brain and nervous system just loves it when we are in alignment – intentions, emotions, thoughts and actions.
Let someone – like an accountability partner know about your plan and ask them to hold you accountable.
Relax and have some fun with this process of educating the emotions. Don’t struggle for control, just take the helm and call the shots. You are in charge of you! 🙂
What else would you add to this list? Let me know how it goes.
Wishing you abundant success,
♥~