Hello,
Yes indeed, bad habits serve a purpose.
A few day ago we took stock of our bad habits and when they tend to pop up. We also figured out our ‘lead bad habits.’ These are the ones to focus on – you know…treat the cause not the effect…heal the wound, don’t just cover it up.
Today let’s go a bit further into the purpose of bad habits. Everything we do is for a reason, regardless of state of mind. Insanity leads to irrational behavior, not irrational to the individual but to the folks looking in. But even then, it is believed that insane people are behaving consistent with what they are thinking and feeling, so to them it all makes “sense.” But to us they certainly look insane.
Everything we do is for a reason. Our bad habits help us to get through the day in a way that makes life manageable. The reasons behind our actions may be based on false information or unresolved emotions but they are still our reasons.
A bad habit is anything you do routinely that gets in the way of you accomplishing what you have set out to accomplish. Why would you engage in bad habits? Some would say it makes no sense and is not reasonable…and from an outside perspective that’s probably true.
But from where we sit with our little bad habit…it makes perfect sense to do this thing that is sabotaging our success.
Let’s go on the inside of the distraction …
You’re on a roll, for two days you are being successful with stopping those negative thoughts from taking over your thinking and feelings. Each time something negative pops up; you snap a rubber band and feel the sting on your wrist. It has worked; you take the negative thought and turn it positive. You repeat your affirmation; you take a deep breath and calm yourself with 3 more diaphragmatic (nice and deep) breaths. [I remember my journey through this process so distinctly!]
As a result of having primarily positive thoughts for a change, you are having the strength to avoid other bad habits – like staying up late with the TV as company. For two days, you’ve hit the sack with a sense of optimism and accomplishment. To not stay up with negative thoughts at the back of the mind while mindless TV is “enjoyed” has led to you waking up with a greater sense of victory and joy, which of course leads to being more productive and fully engaged in the day’s activities.
Then comes the evening of the third day…the thoughts are coming fast…you’re being bombarded, the rubber band starts to snap too hard and sting too much. You start to doubt the process and think negatively about what was so positive an hour earlier. The pull towards staying up with your ‘ole buddy in the box’ (TV of course) is so strong. You’re internally fussing and convincing yourself to do what you feel like doing because you deserve it…”I mean after all the day was so productive!”
So now doing the right thing becomes something like a burden or punishment or a way of denying yourself something you deserve. We can be so clever in how we rationalize at these turning points.
Why is this happening? Why would you want to self-sabotage on the heals of such success with achieving your daily goals?
But here’s the thing, which is probably not even happening on a conscious level…there is something about the change, the new path that is scary. It is new, it is different and it causes anxiety. We have to expect this anxiety and have a plan in wait.
Why is there anxiety? Because doing ANYTHING new causes a push back from those patterns of thought and emotions that were in place for years. The body, brain and nervous system gets into a happy routine of the predictable and it pretty much goes on automatic. And therein lies the rub.
We can make this ‘love of routine’ and being on ‘automatic’ work for us and not against us. “All” [ha! Like its so easy right?] we have to do is be IN CHARGE of our thoughts and emotions and don’t let them rule us. I know, it’s far more challenging than how it sounds. But doable!
If we KNOW that there WILL BE push back, the body will want what it has always had, we just need to be prepared for this push-back period and be ready to push back even harder.
Bad habits, depending on the degree of addictive behavior attached to them, help to make the body and our emotions feel better, we feel safe in our routines. The sense of control over things and the need for a sense of security – that the world is not changing too fast around us – turns our bad habits into our security blanket; So they do serve a purpose, they are trying to keep us ‘happy’ and feeling safe.
In our previous example, instead of joy from being so productive over the past 2 days, you would begin to feel a need for some late night TV, with the snacks that comes with it because that is safe and familiar and it is after all, the routine you have become accustomed to. We love familiarity. New terrain is scary; especially when it’s to do with self-development and inner growth where that journey is pretty much done solo.
So what do you do with these bad habits with a purpose? Thank them. That’s right, thank them for having your back and serving a purpose over these years. Then tell them their shift is up; tour of duty is over! Tell them you are ready to launch into the deep and create some other habits that will bring you deeper joy and peace, richer health and prosperity. Tell your habits “I got this.” Say to them, “I am not feeling insecure or in need of a security blanket anymore; I’m ready to fly.”
Don’t be mad at them. What we wish to release, we must first appreciate. Get the lessons, be grateful and lighten your spirit; then, saying good-bye will be so much more fluid. [This works great in all areas of life.]
Look back at your list of bad habits and go through this process with all the ones you are ready to give up. And when they try to pop back up in the midst of a run of success, just smile and say “no, remember we had this talk, your time is up.”
“Negative thinking [or whatever it happens to be] and all that comes with it, is just not working for me anymore…but thanks anyway!” 🙂
Wishing you all that is good and wonderful,
♥~