Hello there!
I’ve had a lot of experience with this and during a recent bout of “blahness” I was sure this could help somebody. So here it is.
Top 10 thoughts that kill:
- “I am so stupid, why do I keep doing the same crap”
- “Who me? I can’t do THAT!”
- “My mother (replace with destroyer of your choice) really messed me up”
- “Life is so hard (unfair, difficult, unkind, etc, etc)”
- “If only I had…”
- “When I get a man ( friend, woman, job, more money, a big break, etc, etc) I’ll be happy( at peace, able to help, a better person, etc)”
- “I just hate how I am (think, do things, fail all the time, etc, etc)”
- “ I can’t do anything right so why bother try”
- “They’re just going to laugh at me anyway so why bother”
- “I tried that before and it didn’t work”
OK 2 more: (Isn’t that just like negative thoughts, they’re so hard to stop!)
11. “There’s no way I can make a difference, really, I’m just one person”
12. “I just hate how I think, who I am and my crappy life.”
Seriously, these thoughts KILL. They kill dreams; they kill joy; they kill lives. From one thought a habit of thinking is born. With a habitually negative thought life, we are DOOMED to mediocrity, outrageous failure and chronic pessimism: We die a little more each day.
If you’re trying to create powerful habits that help, a self-sabotaging thought life must stop.
Here are the antidotes for each one:
# 1 – If you are smart enough to spot your stupidity, you’re not stupid. You keep doing the same crap because you keep thinking the same thoughts. Change the thought! Try this “I’ve done some pretty dumb things in the past BUT here’s what I’ve learned….”
#2 – Yes YOU CAN! Whatever you put your mind to and actions behind, you CAN do. Say instead: “Who me? I can do whatever I commit myself to.”
#3 – This might be true…some significant person has messed us all up along the way. But guess what, THEY’RE NOT IN CHARGE OF YOU TODAY…you are in charge of your choices today, so make the right one and say this instead: “So and so really did a number on my mind BUT, here’s what I learned and here’s how I’m taking control of my mind and my life.”
#4 – This is true…if you see it that way. Hint, hint…DON”T SEE IT THAT WAY. Try “Life is what I make of it and sometimes some really crappy stuff happens BUT what’s important is HOW I respond.”
#5 – Yeah, yeah…we all can whine together on this one. No matter what you THINK is missing from your life (ok, so maybe it is actually missing) it will not make a bean of difference to get it if you don’t get your head right regarding snatching your JOY TODAY, no matter the circumstance. Your baggage will follow you into your new “dream” life and believe me unless you tend to it, the nightmare will continue. This recurring thought speaks to a conspicuous lack of gratitude for what you DO have too! Say this instead: “I don’t have X but I do have Y and I am so grateful.” Your gratitude prepares you for Y by the way.
#6 – Ditto
Not to mention, No thing or person can MAKE you happy. That’s all on you.
#7 – This one took me awhile. I mean, if you hate something about yourself, what’s wrong with saying/thinking it right? Well A LOT is wrong with it. I had to come to terms with not being able to change something I hated. I had to understand the pattern, appreciate the need it filled, loved the damaged person beneath it all THEN I was able to move on to changing how I did what I did. The other thing is this thought is often generalized and not pointing to any one specific thing. While it might have started there – in the realm of the specific, self-hatred and sabotage tends to go outside the lines. There’s no containing that stuff! Try this: “I really am not pleased with how I (get very specific) and I’m going to stop…as soon I get the lesson of ‘why’ and appreciate how wonderful I am anyway.”
#8 – I think you can handle this one.
# 9 – So tell me, what’s so wrong with providing people with a good laugh? That might be the best reason to bother. If we knew how little people are thinking about us and our actions, we’d be amazed, I bet. I say “bother” because life is lived (and memories created) when you bother. Say/think: “Heck, folks might laugh or even worse, they might REALLY laugh at me BUT I need to do this thing and maybe I’ll just laugh with them…as I gather my life lessons for the next round.”
#10 – You ever had a bunch of keys and had to find the right one for the door? Most times…wasn’t it the last one you tried – well, that’s obvious. What I mean is, wasn’t it the last one – AFTER MANY tries? Sometimes even the last one on the bunch? That’s life right there. Things usually feel worse just before they get better and we often want to give up the most right before the breakthrough. So, having tried at something many times before is actually a GOOD reason to keep trying because you’re closer to the answer. So try this: “I tried that before and got some insights, so this time here’s what I’m going to do…”
#11 – Oh boy! History just has way too many examples of this being FALSE for me to respond. If you got anything form 1 – 10, you’ll stop saying this anyway. Try smiling at a kid and tickling them and see how little a difference you make. This is really outrageously false.
#12 – See # 7. Get specific, don’t generalize. Avoid the ‘hate’ word. Divert the energy of ‘hate’ to fixing the crappy life, finding the positives and being grateful.
Thoughts are killers…these kinds of thoughts anyway. Every thought has a corresponding physiological reaction in the body. They take up space and presence as they wreak havoc in our emotions and throughout our body…do you really want to have them casually? Think about your thoughts and change them where needed.
And I’m sure I didn’t capture your top ten exactly…become aware, wear a rubber band and each time you have a negative thought about yourself, snap it!
We have to go beneath the water line of our thinking…what we are conscious of is the tip of the iceberg and to impact what’s beneath, we have to make a conscious effort to become aware, change our thoughts and what we constantly say to our selves.
Customize the above antidotes: For each of your negative thoughts, create a positive countering affirmation. Say that affirmation as many times a day as you can and with focused and deliberate effort you will get those recurring negative thoughts replaced.
Wishing you an abundance of peace, joy and all success,
♥~